18th Dec 09

2:20pm
Its afternoon time and iam in office-just finished my lunch and am back. Since there is not much work in office my mind starts thinking and worrying about silly things. In the morning I was so happy thinking about my baby’s first movement I felt yesterday (17th Dec 09) at my home when I was lying down with my mom and relaxing. First I felt it would be some gas which is creating some movement inside then suddenly remembered it was my 20th week of pregnancy and the doctor had also told me to expect the movement by this week. Then I started to concentrate and understood it was defiantly my baby moving inside me. It occurred frequently while I was lying down till I reached home. At night before sleeping I again got felt him playing inside me and told JD about it. JD in hurry switched on his flash in the mobile to see the movement but he could not. Then I made him put his hand on my tummy to feel the movement and finally the Daddy interacted first time with his baby. Jd’s reaction as very unique… he suddenly moved his hand away in excitement and laughed loud…He then kissed me without uttering any words. For the next 15-20 min I continued to feel my baby and interact with him and fell asleep like that.
This was the best experience a girl can ever go through and I felt it finally after waiting for long 19 weeks. But yes my happiness always comes with a bad news as well. The time when I revealed to my family that I was on family way god gave me this new that my dad got transferred to Goa. Was it fare on his part to put me in a situation where I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. But I acted neutral- still had some expectation from God that he wud do something at the end for me n my baby. As per my expectation god did show us a new path- through my mom there was an appeal done to Navy to cancel my dad’s transfer. Till date we were waiting for the result where the ladies assured my mom that things will be in our favor.
Today finally as usual when I was happy for a development in my life when my baby interacted with me I again as given the bad new free of cost that the transfer could not be cancelled and that dad had to report asap to Goa.

Now what do I take this as? What expectations should I have from God? How do I react? Should I laugh or cry??????