Here comes the new year. Yr 2011 was painful and full of tears. Hope this year brings up a lot of happiness and satisfaction to me. Its been nearly a year since mom has left me. But the tears come out within seconds. I still feel lonely and out of place. My life is moving fine with my house routine , office work , taking care of ishu and bit of time spent with friends but still i feel something is missing n that Mom. If i have to review my last year i will have things to make me feel upset. My relation wid Jdu has also gone bit sour with he not caring for me n showing the "Just not bothered" attitude towards me , with my lovely MIL acting like d villane in my life to make me miss mom even more , with my dad being alone at one place and my siss at one place , with me having no time for my family and personal life.
The latest thing which added to my worries is my sister getting involved with a mallu guy (Ravi) which i thought was over. Its out of blue that this topic came up in front of me and i was taken aback to see my little sister who i considered to be a mature and obedient girl turned into a very independent , over confident and bit of pride where she does not have to ask permission for anything she does in life and is never bothered to share her feelings with any one of us. Its only now that i feel detached with my sister also coz of the fact that she never even gave hint to us that she was serious about the guy. I am not happy with her decision as its only HER decision and no opinion was taken by us. I don't say that she shud not do a love marriage. Iam not against it. But i feel she deserves a better guy and not a malayali family coz i have experienced what a malayali family is all about. She has made me realize that the younger generation will be fast and we need to catch up with them. Not that iam too old but she made me feel that i was never wid her on the same pace.
This is my worry for yr 2012. My next worry is my dad who has become so cranky that he hardly would try to understand that we (me and my sister) have got busy with our job and not trying to ignore him. I can understand his feeling that he would also think the same way iam thinking of my siss now that me and my sister have become independant and do not contact him for any permission. He is also undergoing the same issue.
WEll do not know how things will be by the end of this year. whether i will be in my new house or outsdie kerala or outside india , whether my siss will be married or will be enjoying her freedom with loads of money , whether my in laws will change and understand me , whether my dad would change and be less shorttempered , whether i will be working or doing something on my own....
I don't pray to god coz i know when i ask him something he wont give it to me. I asked to save my mom n he did just d opp. so i only thank god for wat ever he has given me. Lets see how many time i get a change to thank god this year ....
The latest thing which added to my worries is my sister getting involved with a mallu guy (Ravi) which i thought was over. Its out of blue that this topic came up in front of me and i was taken aback to see my little sister who i considered to be a mature and obedient girl turned into a very independent , over confident and bit of pride where she does not have to ask permission for anything she does in life and is never bothered to share her feelings with any one of us. Its only now that i feel detached with my sister also coz of the fact that she never even gave hint to us that she was serious about the guy. I am not happy with her decision as its only HER decision and no opinion was taken by us. I don't say that she shud not do a love marriage. Iam not against it. But i feel she deserves a better guy and not a malayali family coz i have experienced what a malayali family is all about. She has made me realize that the younger generation will be fast and we need to catch up with them. Not that iam too old but she made me feel that i was never wid her on the same pace.
This is my worry for yr 2012. My next worry is my dad who has become so cranky that he hardly would try to understand that we (me and my sister) have got busy with our job and not trying to ignore him. I can understand his feeling that he would also think the same way iam thinking of my siss now that me and my sister have become independant and do not contact him for any permission. He is also undergoing the same issue.
WEll do not know how things will be by the end of this year. whether i will be in my new house or outsdie kerala or outside india , whether my siss will be married or will be enjoying her freedom with loads of money , whether my in laws will change and understand me , whether my dad would change and be less shorttempered , whether i will be working or doing something on my own....
I don't pray to god coz i know when i ask him something he wont give it to me. I asked to save my mom n he did just d opp. so i only thank god for wat ever he has given me. Lets see how many time i get a change to thank god this year ....
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